Trusting in Him
For those of you who know I'm reading about Prayer...a continuance:
This man is awesome, first of all. If you want to know more, it is Philip Yancey..amazing!!
"I realize my image of God..determines my honesty in prayer. Foolishly, I hide myself in fear that God will be displeased, thought in fact the hiding may be what displeases God most. From my side, the wall seems like self-protection; from God's side it looks like lack of trust"
I'm sorry, but that's an amazing thought! How many of us do that in our lives, honestly? I am ashamed everytime I go to Him in prayer, but I mistake my shame for what God sees as a humbling act. I believe that is what has been my stumbling block for prayer in the past. Why do we find a sense to hide when God already knows? I hope for whoever may read this, to go and find your spot of humbling yourself...
Love in a Box
Within the past 2 weeks, I have discovered not very encouraging news.
A couple that has been married for 3-4 years are filing for divorce. The wife left him...they are both very fervent Christian believers.
A couple that has been married for 4 years are getting a divorce also. They choose not to do counseling.
Problem: I already have a hard time of the concept "forever". So...when I hear of the *4 year* range of not being able to possibly make it until forever, it is very discouraging. Chad and I celebrated our 1 year yesterday, and it went by so fast. I really want this to be a completely God centered relationship, in the hopes that we will be forever on this Earth. But what about couple 1 that also had the same hopes? In the back of my mind I know Chad will have to eventually get tired of me...when that happens, does love just disipate?
Come on people! How do you just stop loving? Not just with spouses: friends too. Harden my heart to love, if loving in the end, will only hurt. God loves us ETERNALLY, but when love is failing around you, it is so hard to grasp the concept.
Letting Go
I’ve realized something:
I will always be alone in life if I choose to be.
I will battle with loving myself DAILY, even hourly.
Maybe I got married too soon for not loving myself.
I am better than being the failure I tell myself I am.
*This being said. There are things in my life I wish were different, wish never happend. I will be hurtful to myself if I continue my thoughts. As I struggle with doing things I never thought I would do again, I can only stay strong in the fact that I am a creation of God, and I will stand firm in my faith. I cannot stand the fact of living with thoughts that CONSUME me, and pull me into self-loathing. I WILL be better than that, I have to be. If not, what was I created for in this world? To succumb to the world’s standard of things? No, I want to be unique, and show that I have meaning...I am a light, firstly for myself. Secondly, to make my Father proud of what I have become.
Light Load
"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ". *Galatians 6:2
Why do we always have the "I can take on the world" attitude? It's not up to us to independantly carry our load, yet we tend to make that part of the daily routine. Our human nature tends to embody our spirituality, which in a way makes us chauvinistic the majority of the time. The world is filled with our tears, and yet we can't fully humble ourselves to one another. I want to be humble before God and man. So start talking to each other people! It's the merciful insights directed by Jesus.
Faithful Deaths
I went the other day to visit my Grannie's grave. Why is it that when someone dies, we somehow feel closer to them by visiting their gravesite? Because technically, it's just a scenic view with a stone on it. Because they aren't there anymore. It's just a body eroding. It almost just makes this sense of comfort fall over us...almost like we're in there prescence again..but then not really. And it's weird that we feel that way, because in all truth, there spirit is with us no matter where we go. But it's like people, and sometimes Christians, it's our human nature to want to reach out for something that is physical..that we can see...so we can really believe. And that's where our faith comes in, we know we're not alone. With past loved ones and with our Savior. People visiting gravesites is just proof of how we need to see the physical in order to make us feel closer to their spirit...when we shouldn't need the gravesite at all.
i didn't realize you were posting again! i am so happy you are... you have so much wisdom and depth well beyond your years. so thankful to have you in my life.
ReplyDeletelove.
for some reason this reminds me of a verse I read this morning
ReplyDelete"3 Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. 4 Delight yourself also in the LORD,and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:3-4 We tend to always focus on verse 4 but God pointed out verse 3 today...Trust the LORD, do good, dwell...AND FEED ON HIS FAITHFULNESS. I realized it wasn't our faith we are to try and get through this life with, for our faith always falls short, we are to feed on His faithfulness! This doesn't help need for the physical, but I think He understands that. Which is why He then asks us to delight ourselves in Him, I mean think about it, why do we have to be told to delight ourselves? Delighting isn't something I try to do ya know? He knew it would be difficult, something we just have to choose to do. Anyhoo this probably doesn't help much at all but I think you wrote and expressed yourself beautifully :)